Once upon a time there was a very small boy who didn’t know what to do with his life. He knew he was born to something different than anyone else he knew or ever heard of but did not know what that meant. As he grew from boyhood to manhood he was given many lessons to guide him toward that path.
He discovered that he was destined to lead the world in ways even he could not understand. All he knew was how very different he was. Although his parents tried to bring him up to be as “normal” as they could, he still felt very alone most of the time. At times he wondered what was wrong with him.
When he was about 18,he found himself in other worlds of learning. His environments had been varied as his family sent him to places in the world that were known for remembering the esoteric, alchemical explanations for life. Among those teachings was the knowing that you are so very much more than just a physical body. He learned you are also energy and that energy manifests itself in various ways and levels of life experience in this world.
He then learned how to manipulate the energy in such a way that the physical expression could be changed, in ways we might call magical. He learned that to change physical properties, all you had to do was manipulate the particles to a different configuration and they looked, felt and acted like something very different.
This learning was used for many things, the main one being healing. He knew that you could alter the basic molecular structure from blocked to open and healthy in an instant. The thing that made it so difficult in his time here was that almost no one believed that could be true. When people do not believe what is natural to be true, they call it a miracle, to be worshipped, or they call it magic, to be feared.
This was the nature of his life. He learned for many years how to use this knowledge and wisdom to help others. Then he was told his true mission. It was up to him to show the world how to use this great love, the energy that flowed his veins and the universe itself, to change your lives. He was to teach humanity how to love instead of fear.
As he “walked his talk”, he used this knowledge and wisdom to heal others. He also allowed himself to be seen and let people believe he was the only one who could do these “miracles”. Some people loved him; others hated and feared him. Either way, it was thought that he was the only one who could do these things. As much as he tried to tell people that they could do everything he did, no one believed him.
This set him apart from people on the Earth even further. At this point there was no turning back. Up until this point he could retain a bit of freedom to not be responsible for the world. He could run and play, laugh and joke, simply being happy with being alive in this world, although he fully knew he was alive everywhere, everywhen.
Now he had to take up the mantle of responsibility to the world, not for it, for he knew he could not make anyone change, but he could help people find ways to change themselves. It became his life’s work. This he did for a few more years and his reputation grew. People came from far and wide to hear him talk or beg for healing. Still they did not understand that the healing takes place within themselves. He also knew he had to let them think he was the only one so they could see it was even possible. He knew that some day they would awaken, but not then.
We all know the story, but few of us know what was going on within the man. This is his story – in his words:
As a small child I knew I was different. I felt everything very deeply. As others laughed, I brought ripples of joy to anyone around me. As others felt sad, I would feel as if the world were dying and there was no hope of ever seeing light again. As others would simply be angry, I would rage and things would shrivel up around me. It took many years for my family and teachers to help guide me into directing the energy of my emotions into safe harbor. I was frightened. Often. I felt as if the world had made a mistake by allowing me into it. Either the world was wrong, or I was. Mostly I was just angry and frustrated. I also felt a deep, abiding sadness for feeling separate from everyone and everything else in this world.
The thing that kept me going was my connection to nature. I felt a deep connection to not only the physical world around me, but even more so, the connection to an energy that was stronger than anything in this world. I felt the love of this connection and heard the voice of God in my head. This was my world. When it was too hard to be different here, I would be with the family of God that sustained me from within.
As I grew and was sent to learn more about how to use this connection to myself, and the world, I began to feel the connection of this world with me too, and began to know that this world is just more of the same energy that I felt in the inner realms. It was God in all the physical things in this world. It is all the same and I developed a peace within me that I had never known. I was at peace at last.
I could not understand how the rest of the world, save a few, was so caught up in hatred, fear and the belief that they were separate from everyone else and God. I now understood that God was not a person as we had created Him, but the energy of pure love that is everything in the world, the universe, the multiverse and more. He/She/It was everything in existence and non-existence, even me – and I called it “Father”.
The happiest days of my life here on Earth were the ones of childhood where I could roam freely. This happiness continued with my tutelage in the great mystery schools of the time. Egypt, Asia, Europe, these were all places of learning for me and I was in love with that world. There was a joy and freedom that electrified and sated every cell in my body.
I learned how to command my physical body to do as I wished. I could spend long hours of meditation, connected to the inner worlds of God, with very few breaths and beats of heart. For the observer it would have appeared I was dead. Suspended animation was a tool of restoration for me. As all of my emotions were amplified, I needed equal amounts of rest to rejuvenate from their intensity.
I also knew that I had come to the world to show others this is true. How was I to do this when I was either worshipped or feared? I had to make a choice. Would I allow myself to be seen as separate and better than everyone else? Would I allow myself to be seen as God to others? This was a very difficult choice for me, as I knew I was the same as everyone except that I was aware of whom I was. They were still very much asleep.
I finally chose to allow myself to be seen exactly as others saw me. Some would love me, some would hate me, but I chose to be content with whatever that was. I also knew that the time was coming closer for a larger, broader exposure to the hatred and fear held by the world. It was my job to reflect to the world, the fear they held. I was to show them it was time to walk away from that hatred and fear, to choose love for themselves and each other.
There were times I felt at peace with this. Most of the time I did not. I was beginning to feel very uneasy most of the time. There was much conflict and hatred around me and I was going against everything they held to be important. The world was locked into a great power struggle and it put great priority on power over others. This was done with the manipulation of physical punishment, money and other means to control the people. They must be and do as they were told. What those in charge believed to be true, you must also.
The use of power was at its worst in those days and I knew I was facing all of it and turning my back, publicly on all of it. I reminded people that it was God, the energy of love within, that was the most powerful thing in the universe and that they had the power to effect change in their own lives. This was not well received by those in power. As I became well known and sought after, those in power took notice.
At first I was not bothered by being followed or harassed but the fear began to creep up the back of my neck like tiny spiders, raising the hair on the back of my neck and leaving me in a cold sweat. I began to look around at my family, my loved ones, and see visions of them at my feet, crying with grief. I knew my time here was limited and I began to feel great sadness and terror.
I was feeling overwhelmed and decided to take a break. I went to the desert where I could have total peace and connection to the world around me, the inner and outer worlds. I stayed there for many days until I could once again face going back to the world of fear. It was very hard to walk within it now that I no longer held the same fear within me. The only demon I fought was myself, the human fears.
Knowing you are facing your death is not easy. As much as I knew that death is only a passage from this three-dimensional experience, the body does not understand that. It believes in the senses given to it for experience in this world. Touch, sound, sight, smell and taste, the five senses, are how we experience this world. We had forgotten about the greater worlds of our heart, the multitude of dimensional experience that is eternal. It is around us, in us; it is everywhere. And so my body shook in terror when approached with those who shouted, cursed and threatened.
I was given more information of my path as time progressed. I was to “die” for this cause. I was to be martyred so my story would survive until humanity could awaken to this consciousness, each one finding it within themselves. And yes, I felt terror at times.
I was not afraid of the actual dying for I knew that was impossible; I would pass to another existence when the time was right for me to do that. I was afraid of the process of how they would torture my body when it happened. The body was in terror of this.
As I approached this event, I faced my mortality and walked into it. Did I do this without fear? No. There is not a physical being in your world that can do that. Even those who take their own lives are in fear when they leave it; they just fear staying there more than leaving. I was afraid and yet I knew this was the path I must take.
Feeling the skin flayed from my frame was an experience of terror. As it continued I became less attached to the physical pain. I became detached from it, but the emotional pain of watching my loved ones, my mother, my wife was almost unbearable. Sadness, grief, and fear were so very prominent in those moments, sadness for them but for myself as well. It is difficult to leave this world. As horrible as it feels at times like these, we remember the joy and light and laughter the most.
The pain of being nailed to the wood was nothing to the anticipation of what was to follow. I tried to be what I considered “strong”. I tried to stay calm and not cry out. I tried to be the epitome of strength as humanity sees it. It is not necessary. Showing feelings is NOT a bad thing. In attempting to keep others from feeling their emotions, we do a great disservice to ourselves, and others by burying our own.
As I felt life detaching from my physical body, I felt little pain. It is difficult to hold memory of physical pain. You know you had it, but can no longer relive it in the same way. It is the energy of sadness, grief and separation that stays with you and I felt like weeping for those who could not see who they are. It is the grief that stayed, and the grief that I had to let go of.
There has been much conjecture of whether I survived the event. I will not illuminate you on that count as that is not the purpose of this message. It does not matter. Did I survive? Feel within your heart and see if I am there, and by “Me”, I do not mean the soul that walked the earth, but the consciousness that I was when I walked it. It is the same consciousness that you are awakening to in yourself. It is you that you have been waiting for.
You have been taught to remember me on the cross. Remember the suffering. Suffer in my place, as I did. I tell you now; this is not the answer. If you truly want to emulate what I did, take me off the cross. Remember the love I so much reflected to you then. Do NOT remember the pain and suffering. Let it go. Remember me with love and smiles and playful hearts. You need not suffer to find me.
That is the gift I bring you. YOU. You can do as I did – and more. I am not the only one. I came to show you how to do this yourself! It is you who will save the world. It is you, gathered together with others that will save many worlds. It is you.